4.25.2005

I drank too much Whiskey Saturday night. I found out that I am a belligerent drunk when drinking Whiskey.

Simon's girlfriend Amy dared me to go hit on these two girls sitting next to us, so I went over and said

"Hey, my friends dared me to come hit on you, so just play along-"
"Uh, excuuuuse me but we have boyfriends." (delivered incredulously, as if they couldn't believe a mere mortal would deign to speak with them. They were NOT hot. Pretty at BEST, and that's being generous)
"That's fine, I have a girlfriend so-"
"You have a girlfriend?! Blah blah blah blah..." (except this and future "blah's" should be read as not very clever, insulting, self-congratulatory, and tonnes of undeserved attitude. Undeserved because, again, they were NOT hot. Not that hotness would make it ok, but I would understand why a hot girl might think it's ok to be ignorant)
"As I said, this is just a dare, I'm really not interested-"
"I can't believe you'd be over here when you have a girlfriend, blah blah blah"
"You're obviously not listening, this is just a dare. I really couldn't care less about either of you-"
"You should go and love your girlfriend blah blah blah..."
"I DO love her you morons. Listen to me: THIS. IS. JUST. A. DARE."
"I can't believe you'd be over here blah blah blah"
"Ok, whatever", and I go back.

THEN, one of the girls realizes she knows Simon so comes over and starts chatting with him. As if she was saying "Who WAS that guy? Oh, wait, he's with someone I know! Big smiles to both of them like I hadn't just been a jerk and chat chat chat"

So, I made Amy pretty mad with me, because I leaned over into Simon and this girls conversation and said "Hey, Simon, this girl is dumb as a bag of hammers, so don't waste your oxygen", gave the girl a real big smile(as she was looking at me like I'd just punched her), and sat back.

Amy couldn't believe I would say that to one of Simon's friends. He didn't care though, because he hardly knew her. He actually laughed. And I didn't care if they were best friends; she was ignorant and had attitude. Had she just smiled and played along, everything would've been AOK. Or even politely said "We don't really feel like playing along, sorry", that would've been fine too. It was an asinine exercise anyway, I appreciate that. But they felt like they would take the opportunity to try and insult me. I'm sorry, stupid people don't insult me; I do the insulting of stupid people. This is an infallible law of the universe.

At least, when I've been drinking Whiskey.

And scene.

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