6.14.2005

I can only speak for myself, but if I were to generalize, I would say that bloggers do what they do to satisfy the exhibitionist side of them. This should not be taken as the 'fetishistic' meaning of that word, but in a very general way. Some people want to be artists, or writers, or pundits, or DJ's, but lack the confidence, time, or ability to realize these desires. Photoblogging, Diary blogs, Political blogs, Audio-blogs... these help said people satisfy this need to share a part of themselves, and provides them immediate feedback (sometimes whether they want it or not).

Myself, I suppose it's all of the above, with a healthy dose of narcissism to boot.

This blog started as a catharthis, a way to get the multitude of feelings and thoughts (most of them negative, as it was a trying time in my life) out of my head, so I could sleep. Being someone that is fascinated with (and therefore wants somehow to be involved in) current pop culture, possessed with terrible penmanship, and not given to writing on paper anymore, I got caught up with the immediacy of blogging, as opposed to writing everything down in a more traditional journal. Plus, this saves paper, but that's beside my point.

It also served a second purpose; it was available to anyone to read. This was good because:
A) I could avoid boring my close friends to death with the lamentations of my sordid and uninteresting love life(or, as the case was, the disassembling of it) by just directing them to my blog. You want to know how I'm doing or why I seem kind of down? Lets not bring down the party. Just check my blog later, and if you're still interested, we can talk.
B) Perhaps there were other people out there, lurking around, that might find solace in knowing that someone else was here, feeling what they feel. Certainly, that's the principle reason I write songs; to get it out, and hope that someone else benefits from my experience.

It's for these reasons that I am unapologetic about this place, or what I have to write here. Whether I'm sharing the minutiae of the day that I happen to find interesting, or whether I actually have something to say, it's all for me primarily, for everyone else, if they care to have a look, secondary. I don't expect anyone to be interested in what I upload, and am fascinated when they do, when people keep coming back. Is the interest genuine, or morbid? I suppose, in many situations, it could be both.

I don't care who has a look, as I have nothing to hide, and would find any kind of misdirection antithesis to this experiment anyway. I love and thank all of you that do though, whatever your reasons may be. Welcome.

4 comments:

me said...

yeah. for me, blogging allows me to whine and complain, or experiment with creativity all the while allowing friends to choose whether or not they want to be a part of that. as well, the more shy among us (cough cough) can allow others a chance to see a side of them to which they may not otherwise be exposed.

plus, where else would we post our HTML documents? ;)

cheers. i enjoy reading.

Van-Nasty said...

blogging is a very narcisstic way to journal for sure but i as well hate the whole ordeal of the pen and paper and that line where you said - want to know why i'm down? let's not ruin the party - read it on my blog. i like that idea a lot.
then there are some out there who use it solely for a vehicle of attention...
le sigh.

brokenengine said...

"then there are some out there who use it solely for a vehicle of attention...le sigh."

Yeah, no kidding. I'll see your sigh and raise you a "derisive sound that doesn't translate into text any better than '*snort!*'"

Van-Nasty said...

i giggle in response