3.24.2006

Ok everyone, please help us out and...

2 comments:

me said...

I voted Hunter, though the thought of having a kid named "ozzie" is pretty fookin' cool! ;)

Postmodern Sass said...

Personally I think "Sass" has a nice ring to it... but seriously, speaking as a teacher who sees groups of kids thirty and forty at a time, all of the same age, I have a piece of advice: Instead of a shortlist, make yourself a blacklist.

Look up the ten -- no, make it twenty, just to be safe -- most popular names for the last five years and DO NOT give your child any of those. Read the birth announcements every day in the paper, and when you see a name three or four times, put it on your blacklist. I was in school every year with four Debbies, three Cathys, and two Lori/Lorie/Lauries. Now, as a teacher, I've known so many Ashleys and Stephanies I can bearly bear it. I beg you, no matter how much you think you love the names Madison and Emma and Ethan and Dylan now, blacklist them unless you want your child to hate you when it's a teenager. And on behalf of all the 30 year old Farrahs and 25 year old Crystals of the world, please, I implore you, do not name him/her after any character currently on a popular TV show. Finally, blacklist all cutsie names, like Britney and Cody. Remember you child will be fifty years old one day, and needs to be able to go out in public.

I'm sure you know there are plenty of places to look for names -- baby books, websites, your families, characters in your favourite books from childhood and adulthood, Shakespeare.

Whichever names you're considering, when the time comes, compare them to the blacklist. On behalf of your unborn child, I thank you.