9.12.2008

Decks aka Boards aka Skateboards aka DOOM


I grew up in the 80's.

Thus, I was there when skateboarding and BMX was starting to get huge with suburban kids looking for rebellion, but not old enough for punk rock. At one point in my mis-spent youth, I aspired to be a skateboarder. I saw "Gleaming The Cube" and probably thought "Oh my god, I wish I could do a tailslide and fight crime at the same time", or something like that. I read whatever magazines I could get (read: I drooled over the awesome pictures), and eventually talked my parents into getting me a board of my own.

My parents we're gloriously ignorant of the entire subculture, so we got my skateboard pretty much at the uncoolest place possible: Zellers. The thing was heavier than Slayer, probably made of particle board, and the bearings seized up with the slightest rumour of dust. It was like riding a cross between a brick and a laundry cart.

Thankfully, I lived in the country. Most roads were gravel, and even the paved roads we're covered in all manner of stones. Thus, actually being able to travel any suitable distance on the monstrosity was nigh impossible, which meant I never had the notion that I might be able to do any tricks. Therefore, I survived with my frontal lobe mostly intact (until I discovered beer of course, but that's another story).

The reason I'm telling you this is, even though I may be betraying my own youthful notions of rebellion, and though I may end up being "uncoolest dad ever" in the eyes of my kids, they will NEVER own a skateboard. The following videos only reinforce my point (as well as give me cause for alarm in the IQ of our future generations).

(Semi-interesting sidenote: Max rode his Winnie The Pooh tricycle down the stairs last weekend, which meant our plans for the day were preempted for a fun trip to Sick kids to make sure that he'd still be able to spell his name one day. He's fine. But it's possible that he has the gene that makes all of the above moot. Sigh.)





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